Everyone around me is on edge, in some way or another. The guy over in the far corner keeps looking up at me, or past me. The girl he is with is distracting me without even looking in my direction. This room - with it's quiet music and soft furnishing - feels like a powder keg about to go off in my head.
There is a conversation to my left, but I cannot hear it. It's probably directed at me, but I don't try and listen too hard to what it's saying. I've drifted away from their reassuring blathering some time ago, and have entered a state of awareness I couldn't describe to them if I tried. I feel like an animal with an electrified nervous system, hyper-aware of all that is going on around me that is meaningful, filtering out the meaningless. Eyes move, darting. Flit flit. Flit flit. Flit flit.
A slightly louder voice behind me, probably ordering food. Then another burst of louder laughter. Is that directed at me? No? Their timing is superb if not. The presence of violent action and laughter in such close proximity is something I have to think about later, when all of this has gone.
The guy in the corner is speaking, but he is too far away for me to make out what he is saying. But it has to be about me. He keeps looking over this way.
The drink in my hand has been untouched for several minutes. I can sense all of these seconds being chipped away from the needless experience of standing here, watching and waiting - trying to fathom how these people work. There is a signal and there is a noise, but which is which, and which is the greater? And which makes me more nervous - the threat or not understanding the veil around it?
"So then the other guy says yeah, but what about the apricots?"
More hard laughter closer to me. All I caught was a punchline. At least I think it was a punchline, but not having heard the rest I cannot be sure. Or maybe it was a coded message? I come down on the easier option so I fake our shared amusement but I am fully aware that the men in the other group are plotting something. One of them turns and walks in my direction. I stiffen myself to brace for the impact.
Then the girl turns and looks directly at me, and I realise we are going to be together forever.
A playlist for the album can be found here.
Titles conceived, composed, arranged and performed by Mike Dickson
(c) 2026, Black Cat Music Factory